True Stuff Dept.: At least the tigers didn't get them!

Q. Other than being residents of the state of Maharastra, in western India, what do Sandeep Tukaram Pawar, Mangesh Kamtekar, Akshay Kamtekar and Ramesh Ghag have in common?

A. According to India Today, the four hunters were arrested by the Maharashtra forest authorities for allegedly raping a bengal monitor lizard, like this one, in the Sahydari Tiger Reserve. 

The forest officials came to know about the incident when they checked the mobile phone of the accused after the four were booked for illegally entering Chandoli National Park, which is part of the reserve, with one of them carrying a gun for hunting.

On April 13th, my good Mr Patel, an official of the Maharastra Forest, told reporters, "During the investigation, the forest officials found that the accused had allegedly raped a Bengal monitor lizard. Their act was also recorded in a mobile phone of one of the accused persons. We have recovered all the related evidence from the accused and they were granted forest department custody initially, but are out on bail now."

India Today described Maharashtra forest officials as "perplexed" by the "abhorrent crime" and reported that they "will take up the matter with the Indian Penal Court" to determine appropriate charges against the suspects. Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code states that "anyone who voluntarily commits intercourse with an animal shall be punished with imprisonment for life, or with imprisonment of either description for a term which may extend to ten years, and shall also be liable to fine."

Walt is likewise perplexed. Did you see the size of the claws on that thing? The reptile can grow up to five and a half feet long and weigh almost 16 pounds! Can you imagine...?! Even with three of your mates holding her ["him", "it"? Ed.], you'd be taking your life, as well as your hangings-down, in your hands.

Out of the mouths of birds oft comes abuse

Well, maybe not where you come from, dear reader, but this story comes out of India, where anything can (and does) happen. Zee News reports a bizarre case from the Chandrapur district of Maharashtra state, where a parrot was summoned to the Rajura police station to answer charges of "hurling obscenities" at its owner's octogenarian stepmother.

Inspector Patel was acting "with the utmost despatch" on a complaint by an 85-year woman known as Janabai, that her stepson, Suresh Sakharkar, had trained his parrot, named Hariyal, to utter "offensive slurs" every time the old lady walked past her stepson's home.

Do we have video on this, Ed.? [Yes. Ed.]



For those who don't speak Marathi, Zee News provides this translation: "I am being harassed for the last two years. On seeing me, the parrot uses bad language and foul words. That is why I have complained thrice in the last two years. Police called me, Suresh and the parrot to the police station. Police should investigate and seize the parrot.”

And so they did. All three were taken to the local cop shop so officers could confirm the reports. The bird apparently didn't like being behind bars (as pictured), and, like Michigan J. Frog, refused to utter a word, unkind or otherwise.

So, as there is no law under which parrot can be imprisoned, Hariyal was released into the custody of forest department officials. He will be returned to Mr. Sakharkar when he gives his word not to insult Janabai again.