VIDEO: National Be-nice-to-an-Indian Day

That's a joke, son. The actual name of this Very Special Day, as celebrated in Canada, the wokest country on earth, is National Day for Truth and Reconciliation 2022. The holiday (only for federal civil servants who vote Liberal) was instituted last year by Blackie McBlackface, Prime Minister of All Canuckistan.

It is a day on which White Canadians are supposed to reflect on, and do penance for) all the evils which the racist colonialists perpetrated on their Little Red Brothers, including one of my favourite characters from the history of the settlement of the West -- Low, the Poor Indian.

The creation of a new woke holiday was prompted by the "discovery" in 2021 of a "mass grave" of more than 200 Indian First Nations (indigenous) children allegedly detected at the Kamloops Residential School in British Columbia. The school was run by a Roman Catholic order, the Oblates of Mary Immaculate, under an agreement with the Canadian government.

"We had a knowing in our community that we were able to verify. To our knowledge, these missing children are undocumented deaths," said Rosanne Casimir, chief of the Tk’emlúps te Secwépemc. The band called the discovery, "Le Estcwicwéy̓", meaning "the missing."

In an article headed "The biggest fake news story in Canada", the New York Post said: What’s still missing, however, according to a number of Canadian academics, is proof of the remains in the ground. Since last year’s announcement, there have been no excavations at Kamloops nor any dates set for any such work to commence. Nothing has been taken out of the ground so far, according to a Tk’emlúps te Secwépemc spokesman.

It doesn't matter. All right-thinking, progressive (and White) Canucks -- and Americans too -- know that the indigenous peoples of North America were treated badly by the settlers who came across the big waters in their big canoes. Mistakes were made. Apologies have been tendered again and again. All that's needed now is... errr... reparations. 

Nor is the drive to right the wrongs of the past anything new. We've been told for three decades now to stop referring to indigenous peoples are "Indians" and "Eskimos". Sports teams may no longer be called "Redskins" or "Braves", let alone "Indians". And lovable mascots like Chief Wahoo have been "disappeared", replaced with mere letters.

Political correctness has triumphed. Even the way we talk about and talk to indigenous people has changed, as witness this 1993 episode of Seinfeld, titled "The Cigar Store Indian". 

     

Got it? Now go out and find an... errr... find somebody to apologize to. 

Footnote: Since I know all our male readers are wondering, the good-looking POC "Winona" was played by Kimberly Norris Guerrero, who is, in fact, an... errrr....

Thoughts on viewing "SNL40": we are getting old

Have you ever played, or just thought about "the Six Degrees of Separation"? The nub of the parlour game (or idle pastime) is that you're probably no more than six handshakes away from just about anyone on earth. Think "I'm a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of [fill in a name here]". Pick someone -- anyone -- and put his/her/its name in the blank, then work the connections backwards until you come to yourself. You can probably do it in five or four steps, maybe fewer.

I was thinking about this last night, watching the Saturday Night Live 40th Anniversary Special. (Poor Len saw it too. He reckons it was on Sunday night to avoid a conflict with the excellent Habs-Leafs hockey game on Saturday.) One of the guest introducers was Jack Nicholson, one of my all-time favourite actors.

Jack Nicholson knows Lorne Michaels, the Canadian-born creator and producer of SNL.  Lorne Michaels went to school with a Toronto businessman who went to the same school as Agent 3, who later worked with that same businessman. And Walt has known Agent 3 for donks. So there you are.

But the real reason I'm mentioning Jack Nicholson and SNL40 is that I was appalled by how we're all aging -- Lorne Michaels, the Toronto businessman, Agent 3, and, yes, Jack Nicholson. This is how he looked in About Schmidt, released in 2002. Know what? I don't believe he needed a whole lot of makeup for that picture. He probably looked like that at the time, and now, even tidied up for the black-tie event, he looks even older!

And why not? Do the math. SNL debuted 40 years ago. The original cast members were mostly in their 20s or early 30s, which makes them 60-ish and 70-ish in 2015. Jack Nicholson was born in 1937, for goodness sake! That makes him 78! Robert DeNiro, who also appeared last night, was born just three days after Walt, and looks it too. Cornelius Crane* was born less than two months after Walt and Jack, and Lorne Michaels (né Lipowitz) a year later. Good grief! We're a bunch of geezers!

Baby-boomers in last night's all-star cast included Bill Murray (1950), Dan Aykroyd (1952) and Jerry Seinfeld (1954). The youngest SNL members I thought deserved top billings were Martin Short (1960), Eddie Murphy (1961) and Mike Myers (1963). Even Tina Fey is a child of the hippy-dippy 60s, born in May 1970 (so conceived around September of 1969) in Upper Darby PA (bit of trivia for you there). She'll be 45 in May. 45!   

They're all getting old, just like the rest of us. But I do wonder why there aren't more funny people in Generations X, Y and Z (or whatever today's 20-somethings are called). When we think about funny sitcoms, funny sketch comedies, funny movies, we think of people like those mentioned -- OK, Bobby DeNiro wasn't a comedian -- and shows like SNL, SCTV and Seinfeld. (Larry David appeared to. He was born in 1947.)

Where are the comic talents of today? Is it possible that life in America** just isn't funny any more? That's what I think. How sad.

PS - Ed. wants to know what I thought of the show itself. Well... in spite of all the high-priced talent -- working for free? really? -- SNL40 was... well... meh. Basically a clip show that could have been done (and done better) in 2 hours, tops, rather than 3 and 1/2.

PPS - Speaking of getting old... could Paul McCartney (DOB 18/6/42) ever sing? Did he need the money that badly?

* "Cornelius Crane" is the birth name of Chevy Chase. You're welcome.

** Poor Len craves leave to draw attention to the disproportionate number of Canadians who made it big with SNL and American comedy in general. Martin Short, Dan Aykroyd, Mike Myers, and SNL creator/producer Lorne Michaels are Canadians. So are (or were) John Candy, Eugene Levy, Rick Moranis, Andrea Martin, Catherine O'Hara and (reaching way back) Mack Sennett. When you come from such a nitwit nation as Canada, you can't help but be funny!