Full disclosure from Ed. - Walt is resting up ahead of what he expects will be a bang-up 4th of July (and not just in Baltimore!), so hasn't written anything. But you, dear reader, deserve something to tickle your funny bone, so we've scraped this story, in its entirety, with the photo, from Breitbart News.
Chicago Police: Man Named Neiman Marcus Shoplifted from Neiman Marcus
The 35-year-old man allegedly walked into the department store on Wednesday and picked out a backpack with a price tag of $1213 and a $364 sweatshirt, CWBC Chicago reported.
Collins dropped the sweater on the ground while at the checkout counter, and he gave the cashier a stolen Discover card belonging to a 60-year-old woman unbeknownst to the cashier, according to Assistant State’s Attorney Joseph Sorrentino.
A security guard was watching Collins through the store’s security camera during the transaction. [Wonder why? Ed.]
After paying for the backpack, Collins allegedly picked up the sweater off the ground and stuffed it into his backpack. He was stopped at the door by another guard.
The loss prevention office realized that Collins paid for the merchandise with a stolen credit card.
He is charged with aggravated identity theft of a person over 60 and a misdemeanor of retail theft.
Collins already has five outstanding arrest warrants including one in Florida and one in Georgia, and he has been convicted of felonies six different times. Three of his outstanding warrants are for violating his probation.
Collins is being held without bail.
Footnote: We note the charge of "retail theft". Maybe there's no such thing as "shoplifting" any more. How about "reparations shopping"?
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