More on electro-magnetic pulse (EMP) generators

Just after Christmas of 2020, Walt ran a series of three articles about a mysterious explosion in Nashville TN. See "Some awkward questions about the Nashville explosion" (WWW 26/12/20), "James Bond & the Electromagnetic Pulse" (WWW 27/12/20) and "Nashville explosion: Nothing to see here, folks ???" (WWW 28/12/20).

I raised what I thought was a good question: was the explosion the result of an electromagnetic pulse, aka an EMP. Was it just an accident, or an experiment gone wrong, or was it a test of a new device which the newly- (and fakely-) elected Brandon-Harris administration didn't want you to know about. Just askin'...

Maybe it was just the Christmas week slump, but the articles got hardly any "hits", and my questions were never answered,. It's interesting, though, that two of the video clips in the second article  were removed by YooToob. Just a coincidence? Just askin'...

The sceptics have pointed out that EMP generators have been around for ages. You can even buy them online at prices ranging from $40 to $4000. The model shown at left is available from AliExpress [Ali???! Ed.] for about $50. The problem seems to be that a gadget like that isn't going to deliver the kind of punch you would want to, say, wipe out more than a couple of buildings.

But hold on! My attention has been drawn to a recent story in the Fort Mudge Morning Mishap, reporting how a local man, Calvin Hoogevin has figured out how to focus the EMP so as to create a... wait for it... death ray!

We pick up the story in Mr Hoogevin's own words.

I was watching this program on T+A [probably "T+E". Ed.] which explained that UFOs likely travel by some form of electromagnetic propulsion which we Earthlings haven't figured out yet. I thought, well, how hard could that be? All you need to do is focus the energy, like what a Waterpik does.

This led me to experiment with instantaneious, total-voltage release in dry cell batteries, and to the perfection of a workable flux conversion cycle based on the principle of phased electromagnetic pulses at the wavelength of hydreogen, with resultant catastrophic elimination of hydrogen bonds.

I tested my death ray. Here are some results:

Bugs - Total vaporization

Mice - Total vaporization

Dogs - Vaporization. Some ashy residue

Birds - No traces found. Some smoke when hit

Goldfish - Vaporization. Some slime on top of water

I haven't completed penetration and range tests yet, but here are a few of the tests I did finish:

Four feet of concrete - No noticeable reduction of power

Test with target cat on golf course at range of 500 yards: No noticeable difference in effect achieved at point blank range

Those were all the tests I could do before some men in black suits and sunglasses came to have a talk with me. It seems President is very interested in my theories so they will be coming back tomorrow to take me to meet him. They told me to keep it a secret, but I had to let you [the newspaper reporter. Ed.] know because, hey, it isn't every day someone from this little town gets to meet the first black woman to be elected to the highest office. Right?

I can't understand why the national meeja hasn't picked up this story. A practical death ray seems like something which could be useful if the American government really wanted to vanquish its enemies abroad... and at home. Hope I haven't said too much.